Mobstuck
by Travie Akuto Sai
Summary: Mobstuck is a variation of Hivebent...well, if Hivebent was about crime and mafia families. It has a very...interesting narrator and is my first attempt at fanfiction. Be harsh. Be very harsh.
1. Chapter 1

Mobstuck, ACT 1

Welcome to Alternia. It's not the safest place for one to live, but our heroes call it home. Our heroes will be introduced later. Don't rush me. I'm the fucking narrator. Now, Alternia isn't the safest place, but it's home for the trolls and their lusus. Next to Alternia is Skaia. Well, only the middle of the city is called Skaia. Surrounding Skaia is what everyone calls "The Medium." It's a series of small smaller areas each supporting different creatures and citizens. Outside of those areas are two massive colonies known as Derse and Prospit. Each is owned by a different family.

Now we need to get into the families. I know, I need to get on with the story, but I don't want to explain this shit later. This way we can all be happy getting to the cool shit. Now cool your motherfucking tits. The most powerful families are the White and Black families which are in control of Prospit and Derse respectively. There are smaller families in most of the areas withing the Medium, but they're not important. For some reason, the Black and White families are fighting for all of Skaia. But, whatever happens to Skaia will affect Alternia in some way. Maybe the Black family will destroy everything or something and cause some crazy time shenanigans in order to move on and destroy another universe. I don't know. Well, I do, but I'm not telling you. Just keep reading.

Now, we can get to the story. But, we have to introduce the characters too. So we'll do all of that now. We'll start with Karkat Vantas.

Karkat is the boss of the Vantas Family. Or, he would be if the Vantas Family was still around. When the Vantas Family was rising to power, the higher ups made sure to take them down and scatter anyone that followed their leader. The only one left now is Karkat. He runs a failing couples therapy office on the surface of his broken and beat down office. In reality, it's a failing attempt to rebuild his mafia family in order to stop being such an outcast. Yeah, Karkat is a bit of a loser. He has managed to get a few connections though. None worth speaking of though.

Karkat is 10.62 Solar Sweeps. He wears a wrinkled black suit and a grey tie . His collar is always messy just like his hair. For some reason, he doesn't like to wear shoes. It smells like feet in here. What the fuck, he needs some fucking baby powder on those dogs. It smells disgusting in here. But, I am the narrator. I will survive this. So, yeah. His failing businesses don't make a lot of money. This place could use a makeover. The couch looks uncomfortable as hell. There's a phone book under one leg of the desk. Is that a busted window? This place is all bad.

Is that ringing? Some shit is about to go down. Karkat sits down and picks up the phone.

"HEY, THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS OF VANTAS ROMANCE AGENCY. HOW MAY I HELP YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES TODAY?" he answered as a piece of the ceiling fell in.

The troll on the other side answered, "wHaT iS uUuUp My InVeRtEbRoThEr?"

"NO. NO. NO. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU CALLING ME? I TOLD YOU TO NEVER CALL ME ON THIS LINE. TO NEVER CALL ME AT ALL ACTUALLY." Karkat was angry. Karkat is always angry. Even when he's happy, he's angry. When he's sad, he's angry. When he's angry, he tends to lighten up a bit.

"i KnOw. I nEeD tO dO wHaT fEeLs RiGhT In YoUr HeArT, bEsT fRiEnD," the other troll finished. "iT's A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE tHaT wE cAn StIlL tAlK. Ta ToLd YoU aBoUt ThE tRoLlS wHo'Ve BeEn SwEpT aWaY iN a BaD mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE, RiGhT?"

Karkat grunted. "YOU HAVE TO BE HIGH ON THAT WEIRD SHIT IN ORDER TO BELIEVE HIM ON THAT BULLSHIT. AND IF IT'S IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO TELL YOU, THEN HE'LL DEFINITELY TELL ME."

"It'S jUsT a BotTlE oF mOtHeRfUcKiNg FaYgO. No BiG dEaL. JuSt AnOtHeR mIrAcLe Of LiFe," the other troll stated. "i HeArD sOmEtHiNg bIg WaS gOiNg AlL dOwN. JuSt AlL bE tElLiNg Me AlL wHaT mOtHeRfUcKiN iT's Up AnD aLl AbOuT."

"IF THIS IS TRUE, I'LL SEE THE LIGHT AND JOIN YOUR STUPID CLOWN RELIGION. I'LL PESTER HIM ABOUT IT LATER. BYE." Karkat slammed the phone down.

Karkat needs to learn to deal with his issues.

So now on to the next course. Somebody call a waitress please. Meet Gamzee Makara. He's 11.54 sweeps old. He's the proud owner of a toy/candy store. He paints his face like the clown and makes all of the little kids smile. He does his hair like a clown's. He's really tall actually. He keeps his sleeves rolled up to keep them out of the candy and never wears his jacket indoors. His ties is Purple. I liked describing him. It was quite enjoyable.

Gamzee watched as young trolls and their lusus paraded around the store touching all the toys. There was a crashing noise as a young troll fell off a unicycle.

"HeY lItTlE oNeS. Be CaReFuL wItH tHe MeRcHaNDiSe. WoUlD tAkE a MoThErFuCkInG mIrAcLe To FiX tHeM," Gamzee warned the little trolls.

"Okay Mr. Makara!" they replied in unison.

"NoW, wHo WaNtS tO tAsTe TeSt SoMe DeLiCiOuS mOtHeRfUCkInG cAnDy? CoMe On MoThErFuCkErS!" The trolls flocked to the front counter and began to pick their favorite candies. Gamzee turned around and took a shot of fizzy miracles out of his flask. It's really just Faygo, but fizzy miracles sounds cooler. Gamzee picked up a bottle of Faygo hidden under his counter and went out the back door. He stood in the alley drinking his bottle of fizzy miracles and looking out towards the busy street at the end of the alley. There he saw an oh so familiar compact car drive by with an oh so familiar face in the passenger seat wearing oh so familiar glasses. "WeLl WeLl WeLl, SiS." Gamzee went back inside. As he regained his position at the counter, two large trolls wearing Aviators for the win walked in with a jingling of the bell. "AlRiGhT kIdDiEs. TiMe FoR mR. mAkArA tO cLoSe FoR tHe DaY," Gamzee said to the disappointment of the young trolls. "BuT hE'lL bE oPeN tOmOrRoW bRiGhT aNd MoThErFuCkInG eArLY." The kids cheered as they were lead out by their lusus. Gamzee left the two trolls in aviators for the win as he went into his office and sat behind the desk. He was soon followed by a female troll with red glasses and a cane to match.

"H3Y G4MZ33. YOU W4NT TO PL4Y 4 G4M3 W1TH M3?" she asked.

"YoU wAnT a SliCe Of PiE?" Gamzee rebutted as he slid a slice of sopor slime pie on a plate towards her.

The female troll used her cane to slide it away. "NO TH4NK YOU."

"wElL, tHeRe YoU Go."

"1 ONLY 4SK3D B3C4US3 YOU H4V3 TH3 WORD G4M3 1N YOUR N4M3. 4ND YOU WOULD KNOW 4 LOT 4BOUT G4M3S. YOU KNOW, TH3Y NORMALLY R2QU1R3 T34MS."

"aNd YoU wAnT tO pUt Me On YoUr TeAm. DoN't SoUnD lIkE a MiRaClE tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR wAnTs To Be A pArT oF."

"BUT G4MZ33 1 N33D YOU. AND TH3 K1DS N33D YOU. 4ND YOU N33D TH1S." Terezi pushed the pie to the floor. The shattering filled the room followed by silence.

"WhAt'S iN iT fOr Me, MoThErFuCkEr?"

"YOU G3T TO K33P TH1S P13 HOUS3 OP3N W1THOUT TH3 COPS KNOW1NG 4BOUT 1T. YOU 4LSO G3T TO K33P M4K1NG YOUR K1DS H4PPY." Terezi smirked.

"WeLl I hEaRd Of WoRsE fUcKiN rEaSoNs To Be GeTtIn AlL aBoUt To Do SoMeThInG."

"W3LL H4V3 SOM3 CR4ZY B1TCH3S ON OUR S1D3. 1TLL B3 FUN. NOW WH4T DO YOU KNOW 4BOUT T4? WH4T D1D H3 T3LL YOU 4BOUT TH1S G4M3?"

"NoThInG."

"NOTH1NG 4BOUT TH3 M3MB3RS OF H1S T34M."

"NoPe."

"WH4T 4BOUT TH3 M1SS1NG TROLLS?"

"iT'd Be A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE iF tHiS mOtHeRfUcKeR kNeW." Gamzee smirked. "Go AsK vAnTas. WhY aRe YoU sO iNtErEsTeD iN tA aNyWaY?"

The female troll grunted. "T4 KNOWS TOO MUCH." She turned and walked to the door. As she put her hand on the door knob, she said, "1 D1DNT S33 ANYTH1NG."

I can't wait to tell you what she wants from tA. I promise, as your narrator, this story is going to get good.


	2. Chapter 2

ACT 2, New Narrator

Hello Ladies, Gentlemen and Aliens. I am Storyteller and I will be your new storyteller. Narrator was quite terrible at his job, so I will tell the story the right way. I will continue to insert my own beliefs-

Hey, I'm the Narrator! What are you doing here Storyteller?

Hold on while I deal with this Narrator...Okay, he has been dealt with. You won't be hearing from him for a long time. Now, we will continue on with the plot of Mobstuck. We will continue from where we left Karkat.

"W)(AL-E, I WIS)( )(-E WOULDN'T B-E SO OV-ERB-EARING! )(-E LATC)(-ES ON LIK-E A R-EMORA AND DO-ES IT B-E)(IND MY BACK! IF YOU'R-E GOING TO STALK M-E, AT L-EAST L-ET MINNOW!"Seems like Karkat is dealing with a furious sea dweller. One who is very fond of fish puns.  
"fef could you cut it on the fish puns and take this seriously" Another sea dweller. This couple seems to be married and having relationship issues.

"TAK-E T)(IS S-EARIOUSLY? I CAN'T -EV-EN B-ELI-EV-E YOU. T)(is could be t)(e perfect oppurtunaty to tell someone about )(ow muc)( of a pain in t)(e bass you are. I'M SO -EXCIT-D!" The female threw a dirty look at the male.

"WILL YOU GUYS CUTTLE IT OUT. DAMIT, NOW YOU'VE GOT ME DOING THE FISH PUNS. IT LOOKS TO ME THAT YOUR HUSBAND HERE IS JUST A LITTLE BIT OVERPROTECTIVE AND SUFFERS FROM TRUST ISSUES." Karkat stroked his forehead as he spoke to the apparently stressful couple sitting in on his couch. The room has had a nice cleaning, though still needs to be fixed from top to bottom I would say. I despise having to tell the story from Karkat's viewpoint whenever he's at work. I always feel like I need a nice trip to the lavatory after. Back to the story. "AND FOR THE LAST TIME, WILL YOU GUYS STOP SHOWING UP RANDOMLY WITH YOUR ISSUES. THIS IS A BUSINESS. YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT AND ACTUALLY PAY ME PER HOUR."

"but kar arent wwe friends" The male sea dweller asked.

"NO, WE AREN'T. AND THIS IS A BUSINESS, SO EVEN IF WE WERE, I WOULD BE TELLING YOU THE SAME THING."

"But, my lusus is )(aving glubbing issues at warf and I'm not supposed to use more boonbucks t)(an R-E-ELY necseasary." The female sea-dweller looked saddened.

"YOUR FAMILY IS LOADED. YOU COULD GO BANKRUPT AND STILL HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY ALL OF ALTERNIA. MAYBE YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR TRUST ISSUES AND LEAVE ME OUT OF IT." At this point, Karkat was smashing his head against his desk.

"kar is right" the male sea dweller said. "maybe wwe need to just talk more"

"Y-EA)(. stop being so koi wit)( me, fis)( face." The sea dwellers faced each other and placed their hands together.

"i wwill my little carassius auratus auratus" They began to rub their noses together. I believe humans call this "Eskimo kissing." For the record, I am not human. I am sentient text on a page. Back to the story.

Karkat started yanking at his horns. "WILL YOU GUYS JUST LEAVE NOW. I'M GOING TO BE SICK IF I HAVE TO WATCH THIS GO ON FOR ANOTHER SECOND."

"Come on. Maybe we can go )(ome and cuttle and sea w)(ere t)(e current takes us." The female sea dweller winked and guided the male out of the office.

"I SWEAR, THAT WAS LIKE A FUCKING TERRIBLE FANFICTION. I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW WHERE IT'S GOING." The office phone rang. "HELLO, THIS IS KARKAT VANTAS OF VANTAS ROMANCE AGENCY. THE OFFICE IS CLOSED, SO CALL BACK TOMORROW."

"kk, don't fliip your 2hiit about thii2, but ii may need two put you under profe22iional 2urveiillance." This troll has a very deep lisp.

"WHY WOULD I FLIP MY SHIT." Karkat rolled his eyes.

"becau2e you fliip your 2hiit about everythiing." Personally, I'm starting to like this character. I enjoy the way he speaks to Karkat.

"HERE'S MY SHIT CURRENTLY UNFLIPPED SITTING NICELY IN A PAN BURNING ON ONE SIDE."

"thii2 conver2atiion ii2 2oundiing redundant. have we had iit before?" He's got a point. I feel like I've read these exact quotes before. Déjà vu?

"WHY THE FUCK AM I BEING WATCHED." Well it appears that Karkat has become serious. Why the fuck is he being watched?

"well, ii'm 2ure you've heard about the troll2 that have gone mii22iing, riight?

"IS THAT THE CRAP THAT STUPID CLOWN WAS TALKING ABOUT."

"well, they're not goiing mii22iing. they're beiing 2y2tematiically kiilled by a group known a2 the miidniight crew."

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO HOW STUPID YOU SOUND." Karkat put his feet onto his desk and took a deep sigh.

"lii2ten, kk. thii2 ii2 a real thiing. you've been cho2en a2 the next target. that'2 all ii know. thii2 miidniight crew ii2 very 2ecretiive and treat everythiing a2 a priivate matter. that'2 all ii know about them."

"AND HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS."

"how ii get my iinformatiion ii2 not iimportant. ju2t make 2ure two avoiid anythiing 2u2piiciiou2 and not do anythiing 2tupiid. ii'm goiing two try two fiind more iinformatiion." The cool troll hung up leaving Karkat in his silence.

"WHY DO I GET THE FEELING THAT MY WIGGLERSITTER IS GOING TO BE THAT BLIND GIRL."

According to the schedule, it's time to introduce another character. Let's see...this Pyrope character looks interesting. I introduce Terezi Pyrope, professional legislacerator. Normally, she would just be a detective, but she also has the qualifications of a lawyer and an officer. There are some things about her that stand out: Her bright red running shoes, her red walking cane, her absurdly sharp horns, her form fitting blazer and her teal tie...but there something that stands out more. Her red glasses that hide the fact that she's blind. She can be the walking definition of blind justice.

Terezi entered the police station to the fear of many of the criminals who had recently been captured by her judicial genius. She ignored them and walked the an initially locked door. She now walked through a hallway connecting private offices owned by legislacerators, police captains, detectives and, of course, the chief of police. Terezi took a seat in her office decorated with stuffed dragons and nooses. She took off her glasses and rubbed her eyes.  
"Officer Pyrope, could you come to my office please?" said a vice over the intercom that was too sweet.

Terezi grunted as she lifted her body and put her glasses. She walked to the office at the end of the hallway and knocked. On the door with the spider knocker. The door swung open and sitting at her desk was the chief of police staring with her vision eightfold. Her smile was sickeningly sweet. Terezi returned the smile, though her smile was more of a smirk that said "Challenge accepted."

"So, nothing learned today?" the chief asked.

"W4SNT 4BL3 TO F1ND 4NYON3 WHO KN3W 4NYTH1NG CH13F" Terezi repliedin an honest voice. "D1DNT S33 4 TH1NG"

"I see. Well, you and the musclehead's young friend was arrested again for indecent exposure." the chief said as she looked down to fill our paperwork.

From the corner behind the desk jumped a young girl that was wearing very little: A miniskirt, a bikini top and an overcoat. ":33 rawr!" she shouted as she pounced Terezi and knocked her to the ground. The cat girl licked Terezi's cheek slowly. ":33 you taste like pie." She whispered into Terezi's ear. ":33 you know pie was outclawed because of the way it can be used."

"1 TOLD YOU TO ST4Y OFF TH3 STR33TS" Terezi said to the cat girl.

":33 i had nowhere else to go." Nepeta whined.

"1 S1GN3D YOU UP FOR SCHOOL W1TH TOR34DOR"

":33 i don't like school. i don't have any furreinds." The cat troll rubbed her horns into Terezi's shoulder and purred. ":33 and toreador cat. he's always busy."

"WHY D1DNT YOU T3LL YOUR FOST3R F4M1LY?" Terezi tried to roll the cat troll off of her to no avail.

":33 he tried to pounce me in my sl33p." The cat troll put her face so close to Terezi's that their noses began to touch. This is getting pretty hot. ":33 men always try to touch me, but i don't like it. i want you to touch me." The cat girl leaned in to kiss Terezi, but was stopped by the intrusion of the chief.

"Excuse me. Am I interrupting you love8irds?" The chief tapped her red heels. Terezi kicked the troll away from her and stood up. "So, you don't like when men touch you. Interesting that you particip8 in your profession then. Or do those men not count as touching?"

":33 you want to know what happens when insects decide to mess with the big furrocious animals?" The cat girl hissed as she prepared for a pounce.

"What happens feline?" she laughed as she folded her arms.

":33 they get stepped on."

Terezi stepped between the fuming women. "WH4T 3LS3 D1D YOU W4NT CH13F?"

"Someone sent you an anonymous letter asking you to meet them 8y the 8ank at the darkest point 8efore the sun rises." the chief said as she handed Terezi an envelope.

Terezi snatched the envelope and grabbed the cat troll by her collar. The chief smirked at Terezi and the cat troll. ":33 you're at the end of your ninth life, hag."

"Spiders are full of poison, you know."

Terezi walked down the dark street in front of the bank. There was a phone booth serving as a source of light. Terezi stepped into it. Across the street, there was a handsome man in a nice suit wearing blue and red sunglasses. He was standing under the only street lamp. He pointed to the phone and pulled a cell phone out of his pocket. The pay phone began to ring. Terezi answered it.

"terezii, ii'm goiing two cut 2traiight two the cha2e. need your help."

Terezi scoffed.

"ii'm 2eriiou2. there'2 thii2 2mall group that ha2 been attemptiing two kiill certaiin troll2 and ii'm tryiing two fiind out who they are. all ii know ii2 that they're goiing after kk next. ii need you two protect kk." The male troll removed his glasses and put the into his breast pocket.

Terezi smiled. "YOU W4NT M3 TO H3LP YOU WH1L3 YOU GO OUT 4ND DO 4LL OF TH3 COOL STUFF?" The other troll was silent. "YOUR3 W4NT3D 4S 4N 4CCOMPL1C3 TO 3V3RY M4JOR CR1M3 TH4T H4S B33N COMM1TT3D FOR TH3 L4ST T3N Y34RS"

"thii2 ii2 biigger than that. thii2 ii2 for the 2ake of all of alterniia. ii get the feeliing that thii2 ii2 2omethiing that wiill deciide the fate of every troll and lu2u2 we know."

"SUR3 1LL PROT3CT K4RK4T 4ND 1LL H3LP YOU F1ND OUT WH4TS GO1NG ON" Terezi lifted her free hand high into the air. "YOULL B3 G1V1NG M3 4LL OF YOUR 1NFORM4Y1ON FROM 4 PR1SON C3LL OF COURS3" The other troll was covered in red dots as though he had a rash. "DROP TH3 PHON3 TO TH3 GROUND 4ND W4LK TOW4RDS M3 OR 3LS3 W3LL SHOOT" The other troll shook his head and put his phone into his pocket and put his glasses on. The light across the street died. The troll appeared behind Terezi and placed her head firmly against the wall of the phone booth. His other hand began to glow alternating shades of blue and red.

"call off the them off or el2e thii2 wiill end horriibly. no one need2 two diie. iif anythiing, we need each other two 2olve thii2 one. ii can't do iit alone, terezii." The troll stared at Terezi as she gave the signal to put the firearms away.

As the male troll stepped away from Terezi, she pointed her cane at his throat. "W3 C4NT WORK TOG3TH3R BUT W3 C4N G4TH3R 1NFORM4T1ON FROM 34CH OTH3R" Terezi smiled. She handed him a legal note. "TH4TS 4 200 BOOBUCK T1CK3T FOR 4SS4ULT 4ND B4TT3RY"

He took the note and smiled. He disappeared into the darkness. Soon, another troll, much bigger than the previous wearing military clothing, approached Terezi. "D - Are you sure it was okay to allow the lowb100d to escape" He said as he wiped his sweating forehead. "D - With his 100d conduct and detestable past, he can be e%ceptionally dangerous"

"DONT B3 SO S3L3CT1V3LY PR3JUD1C3D" Terezi laughed. "1 TH1NK TH1S W1LL WORK OUT JUST F1N3"

Well, that elevated rather quickly. As you can see, I am a much better storyteller than narrator and managed to tell the story in a much more detailed manner for I am the ultimate storyteller. Now, I wonder what will happen next.


End file.
